A Goal for Every Month of 2021: January

Ohai! 

So it's been quite some time since I have updated here. A lot has changed in my life (new position at my school, I have two kids, I am half way through my 30's to turn 40.) 

This is me with my offspring, messy hair and all:

I’ve been thinking that I have been SO busy that I am kind of just going from day to day. I haven't been living my life as thoughtfully or mindfully as I'd like. 

So last night, as I was staying up too late to give myself more me time, because as a mother of two late at night is my main quiet time (which leads me to getting less sleep-BUH-but thats ok), I randomly had this thought: I am going to set a New Years Resolution to achieve a goal each month this year. A goal that will make me feel happy, fulfilled, and more present. 

So, a couple things.

1. I love lists. Checking something off a to do list gives me a lot more pleasure than I'd like to openly admit. So creating a goal that I can work towards and check off sounds delightful. The ultimate to do list  

B. In my motherhood exhaustion, as stated above, I have been kind of going day to day, sometimes hour to hour, just getting through the day. Which is perfectly fine, as that is how I have stayed sane and kept my anxiety at bay, especially in these Covid times. (Parents,  people in general, do you, make that shit work, and don't give a damn what anyone else thinks.) I feel like I am starting to kind of come out of this fog, or at least that I am beginning to want to, and this seems like the perfect way to begin to pull myself out. It also seems like the right amount to take on. One thing to work towards a month? I can do that. 

II.a. Also, in these times of Covid, we are all in this same boat that may or may not be sinking, and sometimes we just need to see that it is not just OUR boats that are a giant shit show. So I figured I will post this journey here, and people can read it if they want to not feel as alone, or they won't read it and I will just ramble to myself, which as a journaling person, is my regular situation. 

So. One goal a month, and I am also adding, as a further attempt to help myself reflect and live more mindfully, that I will post here, each week, about my progress with each goal. 

I also commit to finishing typing out The Dolphin Book. If you don't know that is, check out earlier posts.

So. Here we go. 

Goal for January 2021: 

I will not buy anything I do not NEED. 

I have been blessed to be able to get plenty of things that I wanted, which I am lucky to have done. My family has been able to weather the Covid storm so far, and I have even been able to take on some extra work as a consultant for Usborne Books & More. 

But I need to take a damn break from buying things. Anything that we DO need (we will need shoes and PJ's for Emily, I know this much to be true), I will get second hand. Consumables, medical, and other shouldn't get second hand things will obviously be new.

Shopping has become a way for me to cope with this whole mess. I am NOT a stay at home kind of person. Wandering around stores is my JAM. Em and I were at IKEA every week practically, just wandering around playing in the different rooms. So this habit turned into online shopping, which then lead to me buying things, which seemed to occur more and more as time went on. I mean I haven't put myself into debt or anything, it's absolutely not that bad. I also got things at hella steep discounts, or used gift cards. So at least there’s that.

But this desire for STUFF. I dunno about all that. I want to step back away from the consumerism and materialism a little bit. I don't see anything wrong with treating yourself or getting things you want, there is definitely no judgement there. I just feel like my situation was getting out of hand, especially with the holiday seasons just having ended. 

So, this is my first goal. Stop buying things, especially when it is just to help make myself feel better.

Let's do this.