Working My Shit Out

It's been decided. My pancreas will be called Steve. Welcome to the fold, now acknowledged Steve. You twitchy bastard.

Ok so. I have decided to go back to Weight Watchers, but not really go back to weight watchers, because I would rather not spend $20 a month on a system that is out there kind of, for the most part, for free. Sure, I'll have to track things using paper and pencil (THE HORROR) and not have an app to help me (THE AGONY) but I think I am freaking manage. So I have had 7 points for breakfast, out of 34 for my day. I think I should have 34 at least. I am guessing. I like weight watchers because it has those extra 35 points that you can use throughout the week (aka Beers on Tuesday, a Yum Yum Sugary thing here and there.....or extra Cheese) which should help me from snapping and strangling the person nearest to me. Also shame purse candy. That should cut that down. So I'm doin it. I haven't been working out. I have been going to class, which kicks my ASS and is amazing. I have realized that I do need to work on my upper body strength, as well as core, and flexibility. So

Ok so, I wasn't as bad over the holidays as I have been in the past. I was surprised. But I haven't lost any weight. I actually gained two pounds. I weigh 227 pounds. There is it people. I said it. It seems like I loose weight, then gain back more so I weigh more than before I lost it. So now I am scared to loose weight again and then gain back even MORE the next time. How do I stop a "next time" from happening??? GUH. I started taking Pole Dancing classes. They are the business. I got an entire body work out last class. The pain was good. The pain was there for three whole, wonderful days. I also got my first pole bruises. Very exciting stuff. Sometimes I work out. Some times I stretch. Sometimes I THINK about taking Maddie on a crazy long walk (3 miles, same as the 5k) with weights on my ankles (this has not yet left the thinking stages...bring on spring weather and we shall see.) But here is what else is happening. I feel like I am being a crazy bride abo