Working My Shit Out

So the past 24 hours have been torture. It's not what you think. I am not having stupid cravings fueled by psychotic dreams of Cheese recently. I have eaten really well, even gone to the gym and worked out. I didn't gain too much weight after this week of "I get to eat more loosely since the challenge is over and I should reward myself."...honestly though most of the cheating came from the fact that I was STELLAR with food last week, not giving into any cravings or allowing myself an inch.That kind of behavior usually results in my going crazy not long after, eating all the chocolate in sight (see Cadbury Mini Eggs of Shame below...) Anyways... The torturous aspect comes from the fact that my anxiety has reared its ugly head, despite taking my meds on the regular. Last night was a lot of tossing and turning, laying in bed obsessing over work, the stresses that come with it, and other life junk. I haven't obsessed like this on regular meds in...well...ever.

It is that time again people. Easter. Cadbury makes these little mini eggs. They are, without a doubt, the tastiest candy on the FACE OF THE PLANET. They are only out this time of year (thank god...otherwise I would need to be rolled around by hired men with sticks in order to move about for my daily life.) I bought some. I ate them all. I sat in my car smelling of my chocolaty shame. A sweet but depressing scent. Gaze upon the glorious evil. So that happened... But in other news, I won the fitness challenge that my friends and I were doing!! I lost 5.8% of my total body weight! I am 4.2% away from my first short term goal! I am MEGA excited about it! Woot!! I also have finished my 4 personal training appointments. They were AWESOME. My love affair with cardio has left me, but its all good. Shawn says I shouldn't do more than 20 minutes 2-3 times a week anyways. So BOOM. Bring on the weight and strength training! 5 K is in 1 month. I am SO fucked. I am really conce

So I typed out this long post the other day, and it got deleted. I have been feeling antiposty recently. I feel like I haven't had much to say about it, and haven't been feeling witty. But I am hopefully back now. So the fitness challenge ends in 1 week. Next Sunday is the final weight in day. Bri and I are neck and neck for first place. It is down the the wire so I need to kick some ass this week. And I know I can do it. No cookie is worth $250. I rocked it OUT today, as well as on Sunday. but let's be real, I am totally still going to text Bri my weight every week. I shall challenge her and anyone else with monthly things, and prizes shall be favors...or something. There are these yummy sweet swirly things that remind me a cigars at work that are mocking me....what are the called...Pirouette Wafers. As seen here. They are by the coffee. I glare at them every time I walk by. And every time I glare, I am thinking BRING IT ON BRI. Yea. Don't get any funny ideas lady

I just typed a long thing and it got fucking erased. Too angry to post today. Tmorrow. 

I so badly want to go to the gym. But there is ice everywhere. It looks like snow initially, but then upon further inspection you realize it is little pellets of ice and death. So...not sure I want to drive over there. I should stay indoors and be safe....but I want to go unwind. That is at least how it was yesterday. It was SO freaking nice. I am actually kind of worried when I go back it won't be as lovely and I will be sad. It is like a great first date then you realize on the second date the person kissed like fish. I speak from personal experience on that one... I have been good on food today though. We are supposed to have band practice later today, and I usually drink Rum when I sing. We practice in the basement and there isn't any heat. And singing in front of people is much easier when drinking. So working out will offset those calories... But...bikes, ellipticals, and strength training are calling me. I think that might be stronger than death pellets of ice.

So on Thursday I woke up at 4:30 in the morning from a stress dream about parents at work. Thankfully I cannot really remember what it was about anymore. But I woke up and then couldn't stop thinking and worrying about work (thank god teachers get paid so much!...) so I decided I would get up and go to the gym.   As stated in the previous post, there was a spin class at 6am I didn't think I would ever actually be awake for. So this was an opportunity not to be missed.  I had heard good things about spin and decided I would go give it a try. I didn't know much about it, just that it was on bikes, and I like bikes! So I thought how bad could it be?? So I get there, go up the the instructor and tell her I am new. She is a shorter fit as hell chick who reminded me of a little drill instructor. She sets me on a bike right next to us, which was unfortunately at the front of the room. I go get water, and class starts. She turns off the lights, turns up the music, and we all sta